So maybe formula writing isn't so bad, if it helps you avoid gems like these, taken from actual papers I am grading this morning:
1. Through the large number of basket shops available, MidSized City is well emerged in the publicity of today, especially given the size of the community.
2. Four years ago, when I moved to MidSized City I was sure that the majority of my basket consumption would be from the Internet. I figured that MidSized City was a small town that did not have very many shops of basket shopping. For the most part I was wrong with my assumptions. When it comes to basket shops, there are just as many here than there are in any big city. (no, there aren't. Let me sell you some commas, however)
3. Given the size of MidSized City at XX people, and is expected to expand more, as the city develops, the amount of baskets in basket shops is MidSized City citizens are shopping in basket shops better than SuperMegaLoMart.
Where to begin...
Oh yeah, this was an analytical paper, not an opinion, and #3 is a senior.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
But, it's a great show
So, as is the custom at many colleges here in Central State, PrettyGood hosts a student-produced singing and dancing show each Spring. It's a huge deal for many of the greek organizations and a few of the clubs, and most sororities and fraternities spend $10,000 and 4 months on the production.
The winning acts get campus recognition, a chance to appear in a winner's show and cash, which helps cover some of their expense.
So people in the show (HUGE numbers of our students) spend every night of the first half of the Spring Semester at practices until midnight every night. So their corresponding academic performance is a bit, shall we say, indifferent.
My colleagues and I have an understanding that you can't try to teach anything important until after Spring Break because of this event. And as a person who cares that my students learn what they need to from my class, I find it a bit discouraging.
**As a side note, it's not a great show. It's impressive that the students can pull this off essentially by themselves (although much of the $10,000 does usually go for a professional arranger and/or choreographer). But the show itself lasts 4-5 hours. I went once, and vowed never, never again. We are a faith-based institution, and apparently there's an unspoken requirement that the act features some kind of adversity which is overcome through piety and, sometimes, divine intervention. One of the winning acts the year I went depicted the Pilgrims repelling attacks from Native Americans (they called them red skins). At a university. Not kidding.
The winning acts get campus recognition, a chance to appear in a winner's show and cash, which helps cover some of their expense.
So people in the show (HUGE numbers of our students) spend every night of the first half of the Spring Semester at practices until midnight every night. So their corresponding academic performance is a bit, shall we say, indifferent.
My colleagues and I have an understanding that you can't try to teach anything important until after Spring Break because of this event. And as a person who cares that my students learn what they need to from my class, I find it a bit discouraging.
**As a side note, it's not a great show. It's impressive that the students can pull this off essentially by themselves (although much of the $10,000 does usually go for a professional arranger and/or choreographer). But the show itself lasts 4-5 hours. I went once, and vowed never, never again. We are a faith-based institution, and apparently there's an unspoken requirement that the act features some kind of adversity which is overcome through piety and, sometimes, divine intervention. One of the winning acts the year I went depicted the Pilgrims repelling attacks from Native Americans (they called them red skins). At a university. Not kidding.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I have to say
The way they teach writing in the fourth grade is retarded. At least in Offspring's school. They have broken down various forms of expository writing into these abstruse formulas that make it very difficult indeed for a 9-year-old girl to also make the "interesting" requirement.
It is driving me nuts.
Thank you.
It is driving me nuts.
Thank you.
Be it resolved...
So I had 3 New Year's Resolutions this year as follows:
1. Was to take better care of my health
2. Was to be more supportive for Offspring
3. Was to be more intentional (code for waste less time)
So far, I did pretty good getting to the gym since classes started, except last week when we all went to the dentist on one of my gym mornings (I do the elliptical at home, but go lift weights in the gym on campus 2x-week, in theory). The getting up early to get on the elliptical didn't work so well. I started watching House last fall, and got some unseen episodes on the TiVo over the weekend, so hopefully that will help propel me out of bed.
As I have blogged before, Offspring has run full-tilt into pre-teen hypersensitivity and snottiness this year, which makes me crazy. I have been working hard at being more patient with her, which has been mostly successful, except for a few times this weekend. I am always harder on her when we are in public and her behavior embarrasses me.
I have 1 office hour left, and a class at 12 and a need to go to the gym in between, so you can guess how #3 is going, given that I am blogging right now.
Still a work in progress, I guess.
1. Was to take better care of my health
2. Was to be more supportive for Offspring
3. Was to be more intentional (code for waste less time)
So far, I did pretty good getting to the gym since classes started, except last week when we all went to the dentist on one of my gym mornings (I do the elliptical at home, but go lift weights in the gym on campus 2x-week, in theory). The getting up early to get on the elliptical didn't work so well. I started watching House last fall, and got some unseen episodes on the TiVo over the weekend, so hopefully that will help propel me out of bed.
As I have blogged before, Offspring has run full-tilt into pre-teen hypersensitivity and snottiness this year, which makes me crazy. I have been working hard at being more patient with her, which has been mostly successful, except for a few times this weekend. I am always harder on her when we are in public and her behavior embarrasses me.
I have 1 office hour left, and a class at 12 and a need to go to the gym in between, so you can guess how #3 is going, given that I am blogging right now.
Still a work in progress, I guess.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Teaching Company needs me
So I just got another catalog in the mail from The Teaching Company, which produces CD versions of professor lectures so Frasier Crane types can learn new subjects.
So why didn't they call me, I am wondering.
Then I got to thinking - I couldn't begin to explain calculus in 20, 30-minute audio only lectures. Or the history of ancient civilizations.
My best lecture - the one that rocks pretty much every semester, is Ethics of Basketweaving. This lecture works so well for two reasons: A) props and B), the students get a chance to vote on how ethical I was making various decisions when I was a member of the profession. I even gave this lecture as my teaching presentation when I interviewed at Snowbelt (carried the props on the plane and everything) and I got the job, so you know it must have been good.
I guess that's not enough of a reason for you to pay The Learning Company $50, but maybe if we all get together with a greatest hits kind of thing...
What's your best go-to lecture?
So why didn't they call me, I am wondering.
Then I got to thinking - I couldn't begin to explain calculus in 20, 30-minute audio only lectures. Or the history of ancient civilizations.
My best lecture - the one that rocks pretty much every semester, is Ethics of Basketweaving. This lecture works so well for two reasons: A) props and B), the students get a chance to vote on how ethical I was making various decisions when I was a member of the profession. I even gave this lecture as my teaching presentation when I interviewed at Snowbelt (carried the props on the plane and everything) and I got the job, so you know it must have been good.
I guess that's not enough of a reason for you to pay The Learning Company $50, but maybe if we all get together with a greatest hits kind of thing...
What's your best go-to lecture?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Dear students
While you are in my class, please don't:
a) Do homework for another class on the computer at your desk
b) Text
c) Bring a giant burrito in 10 minutes before class and eat it at your desk, dripping over your computer.
Thanks,
MP
a) Do homework for another class on the computer at your desk
b) Text
c) Bring a giant burrito in 10 minutes before class and eat it at your desk, dripping over your computer.
Thanks,
MP
Perhaps I'm narcoleptic...
So I did not get my glue gunning done last night, because I fell asleep on the couch during Lost (it was THAT exciting, I guess). Then I woke up at 3 a.m.
I think I am turning into my mother, who falls asleep at like 8:30 and wakes up at 4 pretty much every day.
I think I am turning into my mother, who falls asleep at like 8:30 and wakes up at 4 pretty much every day.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Bitchety whine
This is the second week, and already this semester is eating me alive. The new class is a killer. I have a blind student in a different class where a full third of the material is stuff that it would be really handy to be able to see for, so I have to come up with a completely alternative curriculum for her (hint - it involves me, a glue gun and sandpaper). I have a major professional activity obligation that I really need to get finished. And it's Girl Scout Cookie Sale time.
OMG
OMG
Monday, January 19, 2009
A thought from MommyProf
It is WAY too early in the semester for me to be pulling a super-late nighter. WAY. too. late.
That is all.
That is all.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Holidays
PrettyGood has no classes tomorrow in honor of MLK Day. Offspring's school is also off, but Bun's day care is open. I feel the need to do some work, so I am trying to decide how much I will get done, and how much time I can take off and spend with the girls. I will be doing some class prep and professional work that I am behind on.
Do you feel obligated to work on holidays? What do you do?
Do you feel obligated to work on holidays? What do you do?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Taking kids to a conference
My field has a big annual conference each summer in a major American city that sometimes does not suck (but not always). If the city is at all interesting, I will usually take Spouse and the kid(s).
Although I am not the only one who brings the family, it is far from the norm, at least as far as I can tell from what I see. The conference is the usual collection of bearded, tweeded senior faculty backslapping each other and hardly going to sessions, it seems. They are mixed with anxious, black pant-suited graduate students stammering their way through presentations and spending hours in the stress-hormone-laced basement of whatever soulless conference hotel the association has picked. They furtively look for little colored slips of paper sticking out from their name envelopes on the "we want to interview you" board. Then there are the folks like me - still building careers, sometimes presenting, sometimes doing interviewing, actually showing up at the specialty area business meetings and volunteering for work because either we hope it will get us somewhere career-wise or because we still care.
We are the ones with families, generally.
The Prof family almost never stays at the conference hotel. A) It is soulless and the kind of place where the bottle of water beside the bathroom sink costs $4. B) For the cost of the conference hotel, we can almost always find a place nearby for the same cost that is much more suitable for a family - with extra bedding or free breakfast or something like that. Secretly C) It also means that it is less likely that people will see me with the kiddos. I fear that my 2-year-old's yelling It's Mommy! It's Mommy! across the soulless lobby, filled with senior tossing back $10 cocktails and grad students moaning to each other about how hard this is, will make me seem less of a professional.
And it probably does. But I still love to hear it.
Although I am not the only one who brings the family, it is far from the norm, at least as far as I can tell from what I see. The conference is the usual collection of bearded, tweeded senior faculty backslapping each other and hardly going to sessions, it seems. They are mixed with anxious, black pant-suited graduate students stammering their way through presentations and spending hours in the stress-hormone-laced basement of whatever soulless conference hotel the association has picked. They furtively look for little colored slips of paper sticking out from their name envelopes on the "we want to interview you" board. Then there are the folks like me - still building careers, sometimes presenting, sometimes doing interviewing, actually showing up at the specialty area business meetings and volunteering for work because either we hope it will get us somewhere career-wise or because we still care.
We are the ones with families, generally.
The Prof family almost never stays at the conference hotel. A) It is soulless and the kind of place where the bottle of water beside the bathroom sink costs $4. B) For the cost of the conference hotel, we can almost always find a place nearby for the same cost that is much more suitable for a family - with extra bedding or free breakfast or something like that. Secretly C) It also means that it is less likely that people will see me with the kiddos. I fear that my 2-year-old's yelling It's Mommy! It's Mommy! across the soulless lobby, filled with senior tossing back $10 cocktails and grad students moaning to each other about how hard this is, will make me seem less of a professional.
And it probably does. But I still love to hear it.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
My random thought of the moment
I am watching the video of the rescue of the people in NYC on that plane that crashed. It is truly amazing, and I think had this happened before 9/11, it wouldn't have been such a rapid and coordinated response. So maybe something good came from that day...
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Shoes and the students who wear them
So it is mighty nippy here in PrettyGoodVille, meaning that the smart people remember to put the coats and hats on. I am still in the "I'll keep my New Year's Resolution about being healthier" delusional phase, so on the way back from the gym on campus, I wanted to see how long it was before I saw a student going around in flip flops.
Took about 3 minutes, which surprised me. Here at PrettyGood, the popular shoes appear to be Uggs and Ugg rip-offs or very flat, flats for girls and Chucks or Vans for guys. The very flat, flat look was in when I was in college, and I wore out many a pair of their flimsy soles tramping over the bricks and cobblestones of my alma mater BigStateU, which was in the South, and suitable for regular shoes and no socks pretty much year-round.
What's in at your school right now?
By the way, MommyProf is sporting her loverly FanFares pumps today. There's a recession on, you know, and plus I took a big pay cut this year...
Took about 3 minutes, which surprised me. Here at PrettyGood, the popular shoes appear to be Uggs and Ugg rip-offs or very flat, flats for girls and Chucks or Vans for guys. The very flat, flat look was in when I was in college, and I wore out many a pair of their flimsy soles tramping over the bricks and cobblestones of my alma mater BigStateU, which was in the South, and suitable for regular shoes and no socks pretty much year-round.
What's in at your school right now?
By the way, MommyProf is sporting her loverly FanFares pumps today. There's a recession on, you know, and plus I took a big pay cut this year...
Monday, January 12, 2009
And so it begins
Offspring had a kid's thing at church yesterday afternoon, and I was free, so I took the time to go to the grocery store. Our church is quite near PrettyGood's campus, so I went to the grocery that it very close by. It is an outlet of a chain with several other stores in town and is the least of them, with about 1/5 of the store devoted to beer and wine, as could be expected from the store closest to a college campus. My list was simple, so I figured I ought to be able to get what I needed there (couldn't - no English muffins or horseradish!).
It was the evening before classes start, and the store was packed to the gills with returning students, flip flopping around and gazing vacantly into the frozen food section (most guys), or pushing a cart loaded with diet everything (most women).
We had a rough morning getting out of Chez Prof, today. We made it on time, but it was probably too much for me to plan to get something going in the crockpot, cook a hot breakfast and make lunches. I could hear my great-grandmother's admonition "you don't get a second chance to make a first impression," which I am quite mindful of as I get ready to meet my class of hostile non-majors hoping to avoid a more unpleasant class by taking from me something I have not taken or taught before.
I only had time to flat iron the front of my hair, so I am hoping that's not a sign of how the semester is going to go.
It was the evening before classes start, and the store was packed to the gills with returning students, flip flopping around and gazing vacantly into the frozen food section (most guys), or pushing a cart loaded with diet everything (most women).
We had a rough morning getting out of Chez Prof, today. We made it on time, but it was probably too much for me to plan to get something going in the crockpot, cook a hot breakfast and make lunches. I could hear my great-grandmother's admonition "you don't get a second chance to make a first impression," which I am quite mindful of as I get ready to meet my class of hostile non-majors hoping to avoid a more unpleasant class by taking from me something I have not taken or taught before.
I only had time to flat iron the front of my hair, so I am hoping that's not a sign of how the semester is going to go.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Wherein MommyProf gives herself a pep talk
An eerie fog rolled in overnight, setting the mood for the looming start of the new semester, which is Monday.
So I find myself thinking about what needs to get done in order to be ready to start.
"It's OK. You only have two classes on Monday. You're all prepped for next week, and you can probably get the second week prepped today, right? You'll have to work steadily, but you can get it done.
Those reviewers for the conference division you are organizing will be sending you the reviews any time now. And that 5 hours of web site work you have to, you'll find time for this weekend.
A trip to the grocery store won't really take that long if you have a plan. And the laundry pretty much does itself while you do other things.
Besides, your Sunday afternoon obligation isn't starting for two weeks, so there is some time for you.
I'm sure the news from the doc on Tuesday will be fine - there's only a 20% chance, so that means it's an 80% chance it's nothing.
You can do it. Really."
So I find myself thinking about what needs to get done in order to be ready to start.
"It's OK. You only have two classes on Monday. You're all prepped for next week, and you can probably get the second week prepped today, right? You'll have to work steadily, but you can get it done.
Those reviewers for the conference division you are organizing will be sending you the reviews any time now. And that 5 hours of web site work you have to, you'll find time for this weekend.
A trip to the grocery store won't really take that long if you have a plan. And the laundry pretty much does itself while you do other things.
Besides, your Sunday afternoon obligation isn't starting for two weeks, so there is some time for you.
I'm sure the news from the doc on Tuesday will be fine - there's only a 20% chance, so that means it's an 80% chance it's nothing.
You can do it. Really."
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Bitterness doesn't suit me
My, I woke up feeling bitter this morning, mostly about work.
Two of my tenured colleagues are each teaching one class this spring.
I'm thinking, I am teaching 3, one I haven't ever taken before, all with tons of grading. I also have to get a few papers out, because, even though publication is no longer a criterion for my job, I have to keep doing it if I want to continue to be involved with the graduate program. I also have to do the graduate admissions. And I have two kids.
Grump. Grump. Grump.
I am also sympathy dieting with Spouse. I could stand to lose about 5 pounds, but he would like to lose significantly more than that. We diet smart - basically looking to eat smaller portions of healthier food choices. It's good for the kids, too. I remember one day back before Christmas where my kid's diet one day was literally Cereal, Pizza, and Burger/mandarin oranges. So I don't mind the effort to do a little better on the diet. But being hungry all the time is also making me cranky.
Also, I got to take the dressings off yesterday (hooray for showers!), but the biopsy site is all dimpled, such that you can really see that something was taken out and it still hurts when I try to sleep. I know both will go away eventually, but it's all piling up.
Grrrrrrrrr.
Two of my tenured colleagues are each teaching one class this spring.
I'm thinking, I am teaching 3, one I haven't ever taken before, all with tons of grading. I also have to get a few papers out, because, even though publication is no longer a criterion for my job, I have to keep doing it if I want to continue to be involved with the graduate program. I also have to do the graduate admissions. And I have two kids.
Grump. Grump. Grump.
I am also sympathy dieting with Spouse. I could stand to lose about 5 pounds, but he would like to lose significantly more than that. We diet smart - basically looking to eat smaller portions of healthier food choices. It's good for the kids, too. I remember one day back before Christmas where my kid's diet one day was literally Cereal, Pizza, and Burger/mandarin oranges. So I don't mind the effort to do a little better on the diet. But being hungry all the time is also making me cranky.
Also, I got to take the dressings off yesterday (hooray for showers!), but the biopsy site is all dimpled, such that you can really see that something was taken out and it still hurts when I try to sleep. I know both will go away eventually, but it's all piling up.
Grrrrrrrrr.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Things you don't want to hear during your "fun" biopsy
"Ooh, I don't know if that's right. Well, we can just do it again if it doesn't work."
"Shoot!"
"We'll try some more direct pressure."
"I'd call you a moderately severe bleeder."
"If you bleed again tonight and after 5 minutes of pressure, you're still dripping on the floor, call this number."
"I know. We have to keep this room really cold. You can't have a blanket because it's not sterile. Try to stop shivering."
But at least it is over. And it did work the first time.
Results in a week.
"Shoot!"
"We'll try some more direct pressure."
"I'd call you a moderately severe bleeder."
"If you bleed again tonight and after 5 minutes of pressure, you're still dripping on the floor, call this number."
"I know. We have to keep this room really cold. You can't have a blanket because it's not sterile. Try to stop shivering."
But at least it is over. And it did work the first time.
Results in a week.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Quickly
So today was partly productive. I got my syllabi for two classes done, half way through the new prep. I am trying to put the syllabus together as I read in the book, which slows me down a bit, although it is introductory material, therefore easy reading.
Getting ready to go spring the kids and go to the gym - a run for Spouse and Offspring, a walk with 27 pounds of Bun on my back for me.
The fun "procedure" that got rescheduled is tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. Fun, I guess...
Getting ready to go spring the kids and go to the gym - a run for Spouse and Offspring, a walk with 27 pounds of Bun on my back for me.
The fun "procedure" that got rescheduled is tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. Fun, I guess...
Sunday, January 04, 2009
My dual nature returns in my to-do list for today
1. Make a bunch of meals for the freezer so we can eat more home-cooked stuff this semester
2. Read in my textbook for next semester.
2. Read in my textbook for next semester.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Back home
We made it back home late yesterday afternoon, so I have my regular computer again. In retrospect, it was mostly a good decision to leave the laptop at home, as I was able to enjoy a mostly guilt-free trip. It was good to see family, and there was relatively little "you make me crazy," at least on my end, although being vague on things like health tests and whether we are applying for other jobs is always a little tiring.
We are supposed to have unseasonably warm weather today, so we are planning to do some outdoor things while the sun shines. Then I guess I really should get busy planning that class that I have never taught or taken for the Spring, and take down the Christmas tree!
We are supposed to have unseasonably warm weather today, so we are planning to do some outdoor things while the sun shines. Then I guess I really should get busy planning that class that I have never taught or taken for the Spring, and take down the Christmas tree!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Nagging thoughts
So one of the things I like about being an academic is the relatively flexible schedule. One of the things I don't like is the perpetual guilt. I avoided it for most of the break, but did wake up today with my brain buzzing about grad assistant assignments and that class I have to teach for non-majors in a week that I haven't even taken before.
Funny - you'd think the transcontinental flight with a two year old would be getting more of my attention, since it starts in 12 hours...
Funny - you'd think the transcontinental flight with a two year old would be getting more of my attention, since it starts in 12 hours...
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